There’s an honest conversation about the struggles we all face that is missing or masked over by the way we present ourselves to others. Because only the best version of our lives gets publicly shared or discussed in most conversations, culturally we’ve created a new standard for “normal” that’s heavily filtered, posed, and always perfect, and people are naturally becoming more and more insecure, jealous, and competitive. Depression is skyrocketing and face-to-face social skills are diminishing. It’s really easy to doubt your reality when comparing it to your social media feed.
It’s my intention to share truths about my life in a way that normalizes the human struggle, while helping others process hurt and navigate healing, offering suggestions for how to create a mindset and habits that support the life you want to live, and inspire people to elevate their lives through self-care and gratitude. I’ve fallen down hard a few times, I’ve lost everything, I’ve had to start over when the circumstances were devastating, and the journey out of my lowest points were messy, long, lonely, and came with so much doubt and fear. There is also a lot of light, privilege and comfort in my story. . . my rock bottom is different from yours, but the process of getting up after falling down, starting over, and self-transformation are what I’m here to share. My biggest hope is that through my transparency others will also share, and as a community we can empower each other to live more healthy, meaningful, genuine and fulfilling lives. There is freedom from self-doubt and comparison through authenticity, therefore the conversations we should all be having needs to come from the heart, and that requires confidence that you’re safe to share your fear, hurt, insecurity, loneliness, dreams, hopes, wants and desires, believing everything will be received with kindness and understanding. My hope is that everyone has at least one person that they can talk about everything with (the good, bad, and ugly), and if you don’t, I’m here for you. I’ve received so many messages since I started this blog, some cheering me on and offering encouragement in my healing journey and others asking for help or encouragement as they struggle. The notes that often bring me to tears and motivate my continued writing have come from dozens of individuals who have trusted me with their stories. I’ve had the privilege of sharing in the healing transformation of many, I’ve been a listening ear and encouragement for hurting hearts who are in the darkest moments of their trials, and I’ve been able to celebrate with many who have made big (sometimes scary) changes in their lives to grow and heal.
When we hide our reality and only share a carefully created version of ourselves with others, we are actively hurting ourselves. We’re saying “I don’t accept my own truth” or “I believe there’s something wrong with who I am”, and if we can’t love ourselves it’s impossible for others to truly know us, love us, or care in the ways that we need. I know this all too well. I spent the majority of my adulthood attempting to be what I thought others wanted, accepting the criticism of others as my truth, and was painfully insecure and lonely, desperate for anyone to see beyond my facade and save me from my hurt. For anyone who can relate, let me share the hardest but most powerful truth of my self-love transformation: no one can save you from yourself. My climb out of self-hate, insecurity, and hiding was incredibly painful and required purposeful actions and self-awareness that was almost exclusively uncomfortable. My friends and family had to get to know me all over again, and while the changes I made were necessary, it ended a career and some valued friendships. Not to discourage anyone, but those were the surface-level challenges. . . greater than any of the outside factors, I had to meet myself all over again, experience my brokenness without ignoring, hiding, or suppressing, and choose to be brave and courageous in my authenticity when every aspect of my nature feared rejection and wanted to protect major aspects of myself by presenting only the carefully crafted version of me that I’d created and lived with for so many years. I had to show-up for myself. Let me say it again, no one can save you from yourself and letting down your guard when you’re a life-long faker is painful, but it’s the kind of change that’s worth all your focus and efforts. You are worthy of living your truth and experiencing life with authenticity! Humans are social creatures; we need one another yet we don’t trust each other enough to actually give and receive what we need, and in our loneliness it’s easy to tell ourselves lies about our worthiness and value. I promise, you were uniquely designed for a purpose, and being anything other than yourself is disrespectful to yourself, while also robbing the world of everything your genuine self has to offer. So take the leap of faith and get to know yourself more deeply, share your truth with others, and send me a note about your journey whenever you need someone to listen or to celebrate with you.