Do you consider the heart of people when you meet them? We live in a culture where appearance is valued over substance, and we’re living in an era where everyone presents only the best of their life on social media, creating a false reality that’s used as a benchmark for unhealthy expectations and self-destructive comparison.
I lived for years with hidden turmoil and unhappiness, and no one would have ever guessed it because I looked happy and presented confidence in all the socially acceptable ways, but I was dying on the inside and desperate for someone to notice and care enough to save me. If you can relate, let me tell you something. . . no person or life change can fix your brokenness or make you feel whole; it can mask the emptiness or brokenness for a period of time, but it’ll always come back, and sadly in hindsight you’ll see some destructive repeat patterns. Your internal health is deeply personal, and yours to understand, embrace, and own. With a healthy self-awareness and self-love you stop seeking a savior or a quick fix, and your friendships and intimate partnership will transform into something completely different and fulfilling. When you’re free and open, with an absence of neediness, you’re able to experience life, family, friendships and love with an overwhelming sense of gratitude and appreciation. It’s your job to show-up for yourself, know who you are, what you want, what you need, and be aware when you’re off course.
Change is intimidating, and it’s human nature to stay where you are, as you are, even if you’re unhappy. We tell ourselves we can’t handle life if it gets harder, or we don’t believe we have the energy, or we’re afraid of what it will mean for those around us if we choose to turn everything upside down. Bravery isn’t the absence of fear, it’s the way we embrace and use our fear for growth; so recognize your turmoil, and start considering the things you’re truly afraid of. Are they good enough reasons to sacrifice the beautiful, special ways that you were created? Are they valid enough excuses to slowly self-destruct? I believe we’re each created with a unique spirit, set of interests, talents, and beliefs that we’re intended to embrace, experience, and share. Living anything other than your truths isn’t just damaging for your human experience and emotional health, it also sells yourself short and wastes your potential for positive impact, and true bliss. I believe we can only experience the deepest desires of our heart when we release the shoulds and fears controlling our decisions and beliefs.
The lessons we learn while we’re living as less-than-our-best are important. It’s part of the eye-opening, bottom-of-the-barrel journey that’s often necessary to truly discover our deepest sense of self, gratitude, purpose, and ability to love. So please be kind to yourself. No matter what you’ve been through or are going through, you are worthy of living life freely and authentically, and it’s never too late to change.
I had no idea that hurt I’d been holding for 20 years could be healed, or that starting over again could be viewed as a blessing. I honestly thought that all the hardest parts of life were intended to teach us how to be stronger, more self-reliant, and more guarded. Any previous version of myself wouldn’t have been able to comprehend a reality where I could feel gratitude toward physical and emotional abuse, loneliness, financial disaster, and the hardships of being a single mother. But I am truly thankful for the things those terrible experiences taught me about myself. Sometimes we need to break to realize we’ve been tiptoeing through life in an attempt to protect ourself from shattering, and thank god, because caution and surviving are emotions with boundaries, and our spirit is intended to fly freely.
Once you truly embrace yourself, forgive and heal, your human experience is limitless and the way you approach others is more genuine and caring. I have a deep desire to know and understand others, feel their energy, and pour kindness and love into their cracks and hurt. If we were all a little more loving and little less critical, the world would be a more beautiful place, and it starts internally. We cannot fully love others, show kindness, patience or acceptance, if our internal voice is negative, judgemental, and hurting. We are only capable of seeing and experiencing to the extent of the limits we place on our own heart, mind and spirit.
I recently met a very special heart, one that has felt sorrow, brokenness and neglect, loved deeply, been courageous in the face of despair, and hoped when there was no hope. There’s weight that comes with history and experience, but that doesn’t mean the heart has to remain heavy forever. We all have a story, and it’s a special pleasure to connect with someone who has gone through some seriously hard experiences and still chooses faith, hope, and love, and displays courage to truly live instead of just survive. It’s a beautiful example of the wonderful outcome of working through heartbreak and fear, and shows that our hearts can experience freedom and hope over and over again. We can’t control the external influences, and life is absolutely a journey of highs and lows, but we do have the power to influence what we internalize, how we process and heal, what we hold onto, what we release, and what we embrace to free ourselves of internal resistance.
What is your story, and what do your life experiences mean to your heart, mind, and spirit? Are you living broken; lost and discouraged and less-than-your-best, or are you living in the empowerment of transformation; grateful and free? My hope is that you invest the time and energy into yourself that’s necessary to both embrace and be freed of the burdens tattooed on your heart, the fears that have caged your spirit, and the assumptions about life that have written disappointment into each and every one of your actions and decisions. You are worthy of experiencing your greatness!