How we talk to ourselves matters so much!
I didn’t realize the power of my negative thoughts over my physical and emotional health until I faced a major life change and started listening to podcasts, reading self-improvement books, and saying “I am statements” daily. The stark contrast between my unhappy and judgmental voice and the positive example I was emulating was shocking.
How long had it been since I’d talked to myself with kindness?
Overtime I’d practiced so much hatred toward myself that saying “I am worthy”, “I am lovable”, and “I am enough” actually hurt my heart. I wanted to believe these things about myself, but my life has been so hard, I’ve failed so many times, and I’ve been treated like trash by people who claimed to love me. After so much pain and disappointment, I believed I was never good enough, pretty enough, or worthy of love. Practicing self-kindness felt crazy. . . like coo-coo, eye roll, I’ve really sunk to a new low and will apparently try anything, CRAZY! Was I simply lying to myself? And could I justify saying nice things to myself if it made me feel better? I considered quitting the practice of “positive affirmations” many times, but there was something powerful that kept pulling me back. I’d tell myself “one day at a time”, and then stand in the mirror and say amazing things to myself. Some days I cried, some days I smiled, and some days I walked away feeling stupid. But as time passed I started noticing my heart was always lighter and more hopeful, and for the first time in my life I believed I was powerful, capable, and wonderful. I can say with absolute certainty that my life completely changed through the exercise of self-kindness and self-love!
What started as a practice is now a lifestyle, and most of the time I believe the great things I say to myself. On the days that I’m feeling a little lost, disappointed, or too far from the reality of my dreams, I notice negative thoughts like an intruder, and quickly replace them with positivity. Some days I wake up and feel like I’m unstoppable, and some days I need to gently remind myself that life is a journey and “I am enough”.
Now I’m confident my dreams can come true, that I can do anything I believe in and work for, and that I’m worthy of living a happy, successful and loving life.
This is how I talk to myself each morning:
Today is a gift. I am blessed with health, a strong body, wonderful children, financial stability, amazing friendships, and an abundance of love. I am powerful. I choose to live each day to the fullest, leave the disappointments of yesterday in the past, and show kindness to those around me. I am a light. I have unique talents and a passion to bless the lives of those around me. Today is going to be amazing, and I am so happy.
Sometimes I stretch, breath deep, enjoy the feeling of my muscles pulling slightly past their comfort zone, and mentally list all the things I’m so thankful my body is capable of doing. Sometimes I dance to club music from the early 2000’s, laugh at myself for silly moves, and sing along. I put on a show that’s really embarrassing, and I love every second of it!
I know all-too-well what it’s like to live in fear of other’s opinions, trying to change myself to fit in while living with intense shame for making mistakes. I measured myself against perfection, and always felt utterly broken. I believe we’re each uniquely made and we have the ability to create a life that makes us happy and fulfilled, but we have to leave the self-doubt, judgement, and social bull-shit in the past, or it will continue to hang over your future and limit your potential.
Today is the best time to start, and when tomorrow becomes today it will be another fresh opportunity to begin again. Today is the perfect time to grow, change, try something new, and discover all the amazing and lovable things about yourself. Waiting until tomorrow wastes today.